All great milestones demand...

All great milestones demand that we take time to reflect on the past, evaluate where we are currently and perhaps even reorient our future direction.  I am at such a milestone.  It is with not a small bit of sadness that I report that I turned 40 upon my last birthday.  I think those of you who are younger will thank God you are not me, while those of you who are older will think I am being a baby.  The truth is you probably don’t really care how many times I have been spun around the sun, and neither would I if it were not me we were talking about. 

“Oh honey, don’t worry.  In your 40’s you leave behind narcissistic tendencies and you embrace who you are.”  Advice from a stranger given so freely and with so broad a sweep.   I do not even know what to do with that golden nugget!  Narcissism, did I have it?  Embrace who I am, can I do it?  And even trickier, can I embrace myself and not be narcissistic?  Hmmmm...

Well as one of my last, eh em, narcissistic acts, before I fully embrace 40 and beyond, I shall prepare to defend myself.  Defend myself before I reach this enlightened state, before the world and its secrets are revealed to me, before I embrace myself and before I don’t care what you think.  Because right now I am in the dark about so many things, I have not been able to fully embrace myself and for better or for worse, I do still care what you think.